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In doing a little research to prepare for this blog post, I attempted to identify how many times Pinocchio has been made as a film. The earliest one I could find is from 1911, and of course in 1940 there was Walt Disney's version. There were two film versions THIS YEAR and last year, the Italian version had a nomination for makeup and hairstyling. The latest iteration is nominated for Animated Feature, and as far as I'm concerned, this could very happily be the last one.
Now, as a person who follows pop culture enough to be reading a blog post from a nobody like me, I'm going to take for granted that you know the story of Pinocchio, which begins when Gepetto the wood worker crafts a wooden puppet to honor his son who passed away, and the puppet comes to life. Most of us consider this story to be a myth to teach children not to lie. In actuality, Pinocchio lies rarely in the story and yes his nose does grow, but that is hardly the lesson. The real lesson of Pinocchio is that children should listen to their parents and not get sidetracked by vices and those who would lead them astray, and that's why his little buddy Jiminy Cricket is a manifestation of his conscience. Bet you don't really remember that part, do ya?
Sure, this version is a little darker and a little more fantastical as only Guillermo del Toro could do it, but to all who are considering yet another remake I say, NO. Ask around... do you know anyone whose favorite story is Pinocchio? No you don't. It's a bonkers drug trip with very little redeemable value that filmmakers seem to enjoy but I've had enough. As Pinocchio learns in the story, JUST SAY NO.
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